Where Did I Go and Where Am I Going?

 It has been far, far too long since I last posted. 

So much has happened. Joy, grief, heartbreak, laughter, and the steady, continuing drumbeat of life.

In a nutshell, my father passed away after a long battle with cancer, my two oldest sons got married a month apart in the summer of '21, my own marriage of 28 plus years is ending, I resigned my position at my job for a myriad of reasons, and I have moved halfway across the country with my two youngest sons to help take care of my mother. 

I was feeling my way in the dark with no real sense of an azimuth. 

There was a lot of distracting myself in order to get through each day. Very little inspired me. I walked around carrying a sack of pain, sorrow, and misery. I intellectually knew all of the ways to allow my faith guide my steps and my thoughts, but I was not feeling it in my heart. My thoughts were filled with what ifs, woulda, coulda, and shouldas (even though I knew better).

I sought help and advice from others. Decisions had to be made. Some were harder than others. My prayer was to gain clarity in order to make not just the right decisions but the best decisions. I did and continue to gain clarity to this day.

So I am starting over.

In many respects, the last 20 years have been one long world-wide road trip and that road trip has ended and I back to where I started. I am not the same person, but I did lose elements of myself over the last 20 years.

Now comes the work...

I will sit in the fire.

Every sword can be forged, every wall can be remade, every man can be reborn.

This is my azimuth, this is my task, this is where I am going. I am trusting God and the process of the work to take me where I need to be, in my mind, heart and in my life. I know that I will stumble and fall, but I will get up and continue moving. I must. I will. 

Part of that process is being here in this place again. I look forward to seeing you here too.